I see a lot of death. Where I work I’m around it all the time and rarely does it ever effect me. It just doesn’t touch me, because I know why. I know why it happened and it just makes sense. Noncompliant diabetics, cardiac patients who decide to stop taking their meds, fat fucks who can’t breath, alcoholics in liver failure; they all have a logical reason for happening, and I just am not emotionally effected by their passing. I’ve also seen enough of long term care to understand that after a certain point death really is a release.
I see these things day in and day out and it’s easy to be numb to death. It just stops being a tragedy. The thing about that is that obviously not all deaths are like the examples above, and every once in awhile one comes along that just hits me hard. It’s not like I don’t know it’s inevitably coming, but it’s still always a surprise. My night started off quietly with few patients and plenty of time to enjoy the little bit of drama concerning UMan and Kenny, but it took a very quick and abrupt turn. Well… Onto the next one.