Category Archives: Advices

Choke Her in Public

With all that 50 Shades hype it’s becoming less and less of a secret about women’s desires to be dominated, and to be with a dominant man. Of course many still don’t want to admit this, but we all know it. One of the most enjoyable parts of knowing this is pushing its boundaries.

When we’ve been with someone for awhile we start showing signs of dominance publicly without even thinking about it. A little slap on the ass here and there would be the most common. Anything really that hints at your latent ability to physically bend her to your will. Usually these actions take a very politically correct route, but since when is that much fun?

You know she likes the slap on the ass in public, and you know she likes to be choked in bed until just after that point where a little panic sets in. So why not combine the two a little? The best way is not overtly. Some non aggressive contact beforehand is ideal, like foreplay. A great opportunity to make your move is if there is some playful teasing or banter. Your first couple responses will be the usual witty material, but then slip in the choke with one. Not anything extreme, just a quick couple second squeeze.

There isn’t an exact time frame for when in a relationship to use this move, but you should be able to gauge it by how far it’s going behind closed doors. However, that’s not universal; sometimes the public choke is just what’s needed to push things along. It’s just a bigger gamble. Something a little more subtle, but can be very effective is pulling her hair in public. Best scenario would be if you are going to kiss her anywhere publicly have your hand on the back of her neck, then as you go in slide your hand into her hair and twist, so that you don’t actually have to pull away to give her a good tug.

The key is to use these tools wisely and sparingly. Keep her guessing, and then drop it in when she doesn’t expect it. Or if you feel she has been misbehaving a little, but not enough for some PDA (public display of anger).

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Turning Off Autopilot

What do you want to do right this minute? Goals, and the means to achieve them are discussed often, and that’s important. But how often are really doing what we want? I’m not trying to write a free pass for me or anyone to just be blatantly irresponsible; but as important as discipline is, impulsiveness has its place as well.

It seems extremely straight forward, right? Just decide and then act? It just doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. We only think about what we want to do or how we want to do things generally in the pre-approved times to do so. That’s not to say we don’t daydream about what we might rather be doing, it’s just more involved to think about what we could actually be doing at this moment.

The reason it’s so easy to choose daydreaming over the actions we could be taking right now is because then we have to choose, and then we have to follow through. Or don’t. But the stakes are higher than daydreaming, because they’re just that dreams. Which could be anything or nothing, but nothing about unfulfilled daydreams weighs on you like action not taken.

Perhaps the daydreams should be considered as well, because they’re not all far fetched. Besides the random acts of violence I may consider throughout the day, there are dozens of little things I think about and consider doing that wouldn’t come with so much jail time and losing custody of my kids. Really, starting to write this blog was one of those things. Thought about it quite a bit and then at work I drafted up a couple posts, and went from there. I beat it around awhile though, and I feel like I shouldn’t have, because by the time I decided to actually put thumbs to touchscreen and tap out those posts I had already lost good ideas.

Taking this in another direction for a moment; its not always about deciding to do something better or act in a more efficient way. Maybe even more important is recognizing when we don’t have to stick to the program or play some fucked up bureaucratic version of Simon Says. It’s so easy to forget about our own free will. My hospital, like any hospital that’s part of a bloated “health network” of medical facilities, has a large and oppressive amount of policies. Some valid and worthwhile, and some I read and immediately my bullshit meter reads “Fuck That”, I equate this to just about any aspect of life, and its liberating to recognize the times you can decide when something is fucked and not go along with it. I’ve been astonished by how often this evokes positive responses in the most unlikely people.

 

Impulsiveness can be a crippling trait, but when harnessed its an essential tool for deciding to act when necessary. These little decisions can be so small, but we are creatures of habit. We don’t want to make decisions. Especially new ones about things we feel like we decided on long ago. This ties in a bit with what I was talking about with doing something new, but is a different aspect of that same idea. Its more broad, but more subtle as well. This can be doing something new, or something in a new way. Or not doing something you usually do. I think it also ties into the Eyes Above the Dashboard post in that its very much about awareness.

It’s an internal awareness, and it’s scope is immense. So much so that the balance that needs to be stuck to be aware and conscience of opportunities to make these decisions and not be stuck in our heads all the time is a very delicate one. Its already easy to get there when game blogs can have men so concerned about projecting “alpha” at all times, but really alpha is about your will. Will is control. Control is getting off autopilot and making decisions.

Bench Better

First, a video from Dave Tate:

Bench pressing is for some reason an iconic lift. Supremely over discussed and over hyped. Yes, it is an important lift for building upper body strength, but far from the most important. It can also be substituted for various other movements and you can still achieve an impressive and powerful upper body. But we’re still going to bench, right? Of course.

What we have to remember is how easily this lift can fuck us up. No, I don’t mean the bar falling and causing some sort of trauma, I mean the havoc that the movement can wreak on our shoulders and lower back. As with any lift form is monumentally important, but with the bench press there exists more bad advice and information than perhaps about all other lifts combined. Couple that with the unmatched desire to push the lift further for general dick measuring purposes and we have a recipe for disastrous injury.

Rotator cuffs are a fragile muscle, and care must be taken to avoid the injuries they frequently suffer. Once you get your form in check you have also built a platform from which to build serious strength. Another good video from Tate, this one a bit longer:

Do Something Different Today

Some simple low risk advice that can yield profound results and interesting opportunities. We usually think of doing something different as something potentially complicated like taking up a new hobby or trying out some day game; but even slight variations in our daily routine can generate a return.

We can become so set in our ways that we miss a great many new and exciting things. Drive a different route to work and you might see new businesses you didn’t know about, something for sale you could turn a profit on, or discover a new worthwhile social setting along the way.

Include a coworker you don’t know well on a project and maybe you discover a new asset.

Next time you get gas go into the station instead of paying at the pump and chat up the attendant; people are interesting and talking to someone outside your circle can provide a little objectivity.

If you like to run outdoors, leave the earphones out. Might hear something worthwhile.

You aren’t actively stressing about life’s problems anymore because you are too busy dealing with what is actually happening around you at that moment. Doing something different takes you off autopilot and forces you to engage with the world.

Progression: Build from Breakfast

One of my rewards for learning about nutrition and fitness was losing a great deal of weight. My curse for this was a seemingly never ending stream of insincere requests for advice.

Actually the first question usually asked was, “What did you take?!” with a hopeful look in their eye. My answer of “Nothing” was often a bit crushing. A bit less hopeful, the follow up question is invariably, “So what did you do?” A complete answer would be lengthy, and I knew not very useful to the person inquiring. I genuinely wanted to help, and to give advices that could be put to use.

Being asked the same question over and over I developed a canned answer that I thought would be universally helpful to average person seeking advice. What I would tell them is to forget worrying about trying to fix every area of their nutrition all at once. It’s just overwhelming, and you’re unlikely to create any lasting change. I would tell them to fix their breakfast.

Look at what they were eating to start their day, and make a commitment to eat better breakfasts for a month. Of course not eating breakfast at all is often good advice, but this was definitely the wrong audience for that. The next step would be after breakfast was fixed would be move onto adding a healthy midmorning snack, and to keep progressing forward. I would also encourage them to at least once for some period of time count calories, so they world have a better understanding of just how much food they were eating.

It all fell on deaf ears mostly. No surprise. I believe most who might be reading this are probably already doing something positive with their nutrition, but we all have areas we want to improve. Maybe you want to start eating paleo? Pick bread or pasta and give that up. An intermittent fasting protocol? Well the breakfast advice works here; stop eating it.

The large sweeping changes have a romantic quality about them that can be intoxicating. Using that to stay disciplined with the smaller cumulative changes strikes a powerful symbiotic balance.

Beard Game

There are few things in this life more manly than having hair grow out of your face. No one can look at a luxurious beard and believe the man behind it is less masculine because of it. Proven law of nature. Now, I’ve read that the majority of women when polled claim to prefer a clean shaven man. Fuck that.

Now not every man can grow a beard worthy of song and legend, so it’s important to recognize what your facial hair attraction threshold is. Thickness is an important variable for determining how long you can grow it. This is why Beard Game is more relevant beginning sometime in your 20’s depending on your beard growing genetics.

Once grown your beard is a mighty weapon in the game. Besides being an obvious display of raw masculinity, it can be used in a variety of situations. For example: you open some girl and she isn’t immediately in awe of your bearded presence, just refer back to the beard.

You: It’s the beard, isn’t it?

Her: No, no, its not that– You: Just tell me honestly, my beard can take it.

Her: Your beard can???

You: It’s a curse really, I hate it. I just shaved this morning too.

Works when something is awesome too, blame it on the beard. Or talk as if you and your beard are a dynamic team, really that’s just honesty. Profound and deep honesty, that she can’t relate to, but will know is undeniably true. Google a few beard jokes if you can’t think of any of your own, and keep them for situational use. Better than canned openers.

Beard game might not be for every man, but I suggest growing a quality beard at least once in your life. You may find what you’re truly missing in life.

Your Kids and Your Mission

My kids are the most tangibly important thing to me. In my first post my central theme was the importance of a man’s mission, so you might wonder how well that can correlate with being a dedicated father. The answer is that your mission is even more important to your kids than it is to you.

As a father you constantly weigh your actions against the effect they will have on your children. That weight gives every decision the ability to cause more fear and doubt than it would otherwise. Mostly we assign that weight to the big decisions and points in our life that we would consider pivotal. That weight, however, applies to every decision you make.

It starts before you even wake up in the morning. When did you set your alarm for? Did you set an alarm? Did you get right up out of bed, or did you lay there for another ten minutes, shit make it fifteen, so hard to get out of bed ya know? Are you going to work out today? Prepare something for lunch or grab fast food? Leave for work early enough to account for unknown traffic problems, or be running in to make it on time? Are you going to be the best at what you do, or just get by? And so it goes.

We worry so much about disciplining our children, we forget that the discipline that is really going to matter to them is how well we discipline ourselves. Do as I say, not as I do is total bullshit and they know it. Our children live and die by the example we set for them. That’s where your mission comes in.

When you live your mission you are going to be setting great examples by default. When you’re in the hunt you value your time and make the most of it. You know that every moment wasted is detracting from your mission. Your leisure time is more cherished because it feels earned.

The one downfall of pursuit of the mission when you’re a father is that it can be easy to lose perspective. Remember that they are what its for. From the moment that cord is cut everything has a different and deeper meaning. So include them; your kids are going to be fascinated by you for far longer than they’ll admit to. That captive audience wants to learn from you. You can teach them a lot more than their colors and shapes.