Chivalry is Not Dead

Maybe it’s on the ventilator, but it is not dead. It’s something commonly thrown around these days that it either is dead, or that it should be. Which sentiment you share probably depends on what’s between your legs. I don’t believe either statement. I think deep down, most people don’t either.

If you look around it still happens all the time. Maybe not as much as it used to or should, but you will still see doors being held. Often it is still ladies first, even if there are quite a few less “ladies”. These are things that are engrained in our nature. When men drop chivalry it is usually due to an outside force, or they feel it isn’t “worth it”. I don’t believe either of these are acceptable, or that many men accept a lack of chivalry in themselves at all.

Women lament the “loss” of chivalry, and point to it as a sign that the common man has been degraded from his former self in prior times. That last part might actually true, but it’s not just men. We’ve entered a vicious circle, where each gender is pushing the other to new lows endlessly. The degradation is slight, but steady, spiraling lower and lower. So yes, the common man might be a lesser man than he was, but that’s not the whole story.

Around The Sphere there has been talk going back for some time that the time for chivalry has long passed, and that it is a mindset better left behind. Then sometime soon after there will be discussion on how we need to get back to the patriarchal days of old. Well gentlemen, that can only begin with us. Patriarchy can’t just be about having the power, it has to be about using it responsibly. Ultimately it is a service, and a sacrifice more than a privilege. That is what is at the heart of true chivalry, and it is about a lot more than holding doors.

Where in you the chivalry comes from, and how you express it is what matters. The word these days invokes images of white knighting and creepy guys believing that it’s the way into a woman’s heart. I’m going to tell you right that it is not either of those things, and that they are actually quite offensive to the idea of true chivalry. That is because these are selfish acts and true acts of chivalry are magnanimous. Think of it as a display of excess. Your shit is so in check that you have the time, attention, and resources to stop and help someone else for absolutely nothing expected in return.

This not all to say that you should never benefit from the outcomes of your chivalry, but if there is one thing in your life that you are truly outcome independent in, it should be this. The ability to walk down he street knowing you are capable of doing random good is a feeling no man should miss out on. This isn’t becoming a door mat, but doing things in which the reward is in the doing of the act itself, everything else is just icing.

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Chivalry is Not Dead

    1. Young Hunter Post author

      I believe chivalry can still be a show of power, not supplication when applied correctly. Obviously it often isn’t, and the idea itself is easily misinterpreted. Chivalry somehow became synonymous with a man being a bitch in his relationships with women.

      No one feels worse after helping an elderly lady carry something, or put a kid’s bike chain back on, or hold a door for a young mother with a baby carrier in one hand and a diaper bag in the other, or throw up a couple dollars when the person ahead of you in line at the store realizes they’re a little short.

      Reply
  1. Pingback: LIGFY – Oct 21 | Society of Amateur Gentlemen

  2. Pingback: Lightning Round – 2012/10/24 « Free Northerner

  3. Pingback: It’s Just Everywhere! | The Hunt

  4. Tom White

    The complaint about chivlary being dead is a major shit test. Women know that betas will bend over backwards to hold open a door, fix their car or hold their purse while they screw that rogue alpha in the bar toilet. When women say they want chivalry they are aiming it at the men they want to have sex with (the only men they really see as men [a man a woman does not find attractive is not seen as a man]) who most often are the sort of men who don’t act chivalrous and women would in fact lose respect for such men if they started acting chivalrous.
    Chivalry is a medievel concept. It can only come from a place of strength and from looking at women as so helpless that you are doing them a kindness by using your superior masculine strength to help them out. A beta is not chivalrous but supplicating and praise seeking.

    Reply
    1. Young Hunter Post author

      That’s precisely it: when it’s not coming from a place of masculine strength it is not chivalry. There may be an exception to every rule, but few to this one.

      Reply
  5. Leap of a Beta

    Agree with this post entirely.

    I think it’s been weird for me personally. My awareness of women has fluctuated a lot since taking the red pill – sometimes I’m hyper aware of them, and sometimes they’re just another meatsack on the street. I think it surprises some women when I won’t get out of their way, won’t hold a door open for them, and sometimes don’t even notice that they were on the other side of a glass door until after I’ve gone by and made them move out of my way. Not intentional, my amount of caring simply doesn’t register them at times these days.

    My Chivalry comes and goes. Mainly, the women that get it get it because they’ve done something that makes me want to do it. It isn’t as cold and calculating (most of the time) as some game says it should be, but it isn’t something I give away for everyone either. Not bargained for, simply earned or not earned.

    Reply
    1. Young Hunter Post author

      I tend to think of it as something completely separate from game if we’re talking the usual definition. I think we all do chivalrous things without even realizing it too.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s