Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Bastard Chronicles: Addendum

My last post was an introduction to something I would like write a lot more about. It’s extremely personal, and understandably a bit controversial. The topic itself is something that is talked about relatively frequently, but not often from the perspective of someone right in the middle of the hurricane.

Along the way I made many mistakes, but few regrets. My plan is to write about it once a week. If I have enough readers I’m sure writing about this will generate some questions. I will do my best to answer the ones worth answering.

The Bastard Chronicles

I tend to think my perspective here is a relatively unique one. Yes, yes everyone thinks they’re a “special snowflake”. But no really, I haven’t read anything yet coming from the quite the same place as myself. I have talked about having kids and being a father, but what I haven’t disclosed is one of my children is a bastard. Not the usual way these days either; we are married, just not to each other.

I know I’m not the only one, but I’m certain I’m one of very few who will be talking about it like this. See, I feel there’s a lot to learn here. A lot that can be shared with my fellow man. And I don’t just mean sage advice such as “don’t do it” because that’s not what I’m going to tell you.

Infidelity is always going to be a hot topic, and it’s something that plays a part in almost everyone’s life at some point. I know my own is going to have far reaching implications that I can’t even begin to foresee yet. If your everyday actions have a ripple effect on other peoples’ lives, then something like this is the wake behind a cargo ship.

It’s something I’ve personally learned a great deal from. About life, about women, but mostly about myself. Causing pain to nearly everyone you care for can really make you look at yourself and the relationships you maintain. Many of the women in my life would like to believe what I learned in that introspection is a lesson in controlling my bad behavior. The hypocrites tried to make me a surrogate for their own shame.

It was something I bought into for a time, letting myself feel exactly as horrible as many around me expected and desired me to be; any slight display of happiness extinguished with extreme prejudice. I can only be thankful for their vicious deconstruction of me, because it presents a rare opportunity.

Picking up the pieces and rebuilding myself stronger makes them hate me even more, but now I revel in it. When I’m not around they love to hate me, and when I am around they hate that they love me. It’s a fantastic lesson in preselection and just how powerful dominant masculine frame is when coupled with charisma.

As much as I’ve learned there’s much more still. I walk a line somewhere between Athol and Roissy, with any and all advice needing a slightly different interpretation for my purposes. This journey is young and the road is long.

Next Installment

The 1000 Pound Total

When I started lifting more seriously one of my first goals I set for myself was achieving the 1000 pound total. If you’re unfamiliar it’s the total of your flat bench press, deadlift, and squat. I viewed it as a long term, but realistic goal. Recently I surpassed this goal.

I don’t post this to brag, once you look into the strength world at all, you know it’s really just not that strong. Maybe compared to the average guy walking around, but who cares about being average. I bring it up because I feel it is something each and every man without a limiting health issue can accomplish.

Getting under the bar can be extremely difficult on even the best of days. It’s love/hate even if it’s mostly love. It induces the pain that creates our better self. Sometimes that isn’t enough on its own. While its easy to say that thought out goals provide that extra drive, that’s not always enough either.

What I found was always enough when I got under that bar so many times was I knew that thousand pounds was mine. I just had to take it. Do what was necessary to get what belonged to me. Not everyone’s goals are going to be the same as mine, but know that your share of iron is just waiting for you to claim it.

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Late Night Browsing

Regular NFL refs are back; agree to 8 year deal

Thank you baby jesus. Oh, and Ed Hochuli is a boss.

NYC schools give out morning-after pills to students — without telling parents

Holy fuck. I think I had heard at some point about schools referring teens to clinics where they could get birth control without being required to inform parents, but this shit’s crazy. Gives me chills as a parent who has produced female offspring. Birth control is crazy enough, but the morning after pill is a free pass to fuck whoever whenever they want with only a walk of shame to the nurse’s office as a consequence.

More authority equals less stress

I don’t know how credible the study itself is, but its an interesting theory. Makes sense in many ways. I think in a lot of ways authority is a kind of freedom. Your choices have more weight, but they’re your choices. Also think about it in the context of the successfully self employed; they have achieved authority over both aspects of their life. The one frees the other.

Bill Nye is still the science guy

I don’t honestly know what he’s been up to since I used to watch him on PBS, but I love the strong passionate stance he takes here on an issue he cares about. It’s extremely common for public figures to take the easy way and travel a middle road that you know is not how they really feel.

Teacher who wrote lyrics for school lunch video says national media missed the message

The nutritional profile of school lunches are shit because of the utter fucking disgrace that is the food pyramid, and other government pushed donkey shit. Awareness is a good start, and the importance of protein can’t be stressed enough.

The Post-Apocalyptic Tech Scene

An interested read. The post apocalyptic idea is insightful, but I don’t like the socialist tone of the rest of the article.

Spam Achievement Unlocked

Over at 3rd Millennium Men they have surpassed a significant milestone: over 1000 page views in a single day. This is a great accomplishment, one that I am very far from. But I too have recently achieved a milestone I would like to share. I have officially received my first wave of ridiculous spam comments.

Quite impressive, I know. No longer does my spam filter only exist to block legitimate comments. I deeply held out hope that spam I received would somehow be sexual in nature, link to high quality porn, or lead in some way to some sort of debauchery. Unfortunately I received ones like this:

Excellent post. I used to be checking constantly this weblog and I am impressed! Very helpful info specifically the closing phase I handle such info much. I was looking for this particular information for a long time. Thanks and good luck.

From some sort of Nintendo website. Oh well. I will persevere and build this up until spam bots of the more perverse variety can regularly call it home. It’s all about having goals.

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Ignoring the Big Picture

Most topics we read about on blogs are about society’s problems. It’s only natural to want to discuss these problems, air them out, and get feedback. Multiple perspectives can help you look at a problem differently and discover solutions you might not otherwise see. Besides that sometimes its good to vent to like minded people.

Where we all can go astray when trying to make positive changes in our lives is getting caught up on the problem itself. We get angry that the problem exists in the first place. Then we start to look at the bigger picture and we see it happening everywhere, driving our fury even further. Considering that big picture and acknowledging our anger is important, but needs to be put aside sometimes when working on our individual problems.

If the natural state of society is patriarchal, then it’s easy to understand how we become focused on its broad and sweeping conflicts. We consider them our responsibility. Men used to be considered ultimately responsible for any and all actions of their wife and children. As the leader of his clan everything fell back onto him. He was accountable to society and his family was accountable to him. That contract has long been breached. By all parties. I would argue the biggest issue isn’t women, but “men” whose only claim to their gender is having a penis.

So our internal programming tells us to fix shit. It’s not hard to notice the societal problems which are shit that must be fixed. The connection that we have to make is worrying about those problems in their entirety will only serve to add to them. The next important connection to make is that many of them are the sum of our smaller problems. The big picture is incredibly important to us as men, but what’s more important to you as a man?

The state of current affairs pissing you off? You want to do something about? Make things better? Make yourself better. Push yourself more in the gym, eat better, dress better, read, do something creative. Society doesn’t improve you, you improve it. Be a better man and you are doing your part.

Feminized (autocorrect tried fixing this to “age unisex” how apt) society pissing you off? Good! Live your life like a man in spite of all that shit and you’ve achieved a true victory. Earlier generations like to reminisce about how things used to be. How men used to act. Well that’s no achievement when it’s choice number one. Do it now and you’ve earned something.